The Parenting Thread...

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Masato
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Re: The Parenting Thread...

Postby Masato » Fri May 03, 2019 1:15 pm

Canuckster wrote:wow, 15, damn congrats


Congrats?? what the hell for lol


I did score a couple days ago, she was wearing some semi-revealing clothes. I asked her in the car the next day;

Do you see a difference between dressing pretty, and dressing sexy?
Yes.
Do you see a difference between dressing sexy, and dressing slutty?
Hmm

She starts defending her outfits etc. I say I'm not commenting on her clothes, I just want to know if she sees a difference, knows where those lines are. She listened. I said its OK to dress sexy sometimes if she likes at appropriate times, but that it looks bad to dress slutty. I told her that I personally didn't find girls who dress up/show off too much an attractive quality, it was the casual girls that usually caught my eye. I told her she was pretty enough, didn't need that. She seemed to like that, and wore a big hoodie the next day. Looked great

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Postby Masato » Fri May 03, 2019 1:16 pm

Son has another BJJ tourney this weekend. He looks ready.

really wonder what he will be like at 15. Kind of sucks for the older sibling, whatever they do its the first time around for parents. Second child always gets that edge of experience from mom and dad

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Postby Shinkicker » Tue Jun 25, 2019 12:18 pm

Well, I may be copping out but....I'm leaving my family for 3 months.

I'm stuck in a rut here. My boys don't listen to me. They don't seem to respect me. They don't help around the house. My 16 year old won't get a job. They 'yes sir' their dad and jump to do as he says. Yet he tells me to direct them ex. "have the boys mow the lawn tomorrow", etc

Don't get me wrong. They have their good points. They make excellent grades in school, get awards constantly, and don't smoke or do drugs. They have great manners and social skills around others. (They even try to get doors for women or older people in public.)
Everyone says "you have such great kids!"

Well yeah, but they need to be getting prepared to get the fuck outta my house.

I grew up without most material things so I want my kids to have everything. I've gotten myself to where I live paycheck to paycheck and keep dishing out the money. And my kids are expensive. Dating, rock climbing, work out equipment, travel, etc.

And their dad has hobbies that take up much of his free time. He Makes time for me but I always have to plan for it and set it up. Well, I've stopped doing that and I don't think he's even noticed.

And I can't seem to break the cycle. So I'm taking a travel assignment on the west coast for 13 weeks.

I'm either going to come home to a family that appreciates me or has decided they don't really need me.

We shall see. I'm ready for either.

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Postby Shinkicker » Tue Jun 25, 2019 12:19 pm

Summary: I may or may not being going through a midlife crisis.lol

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Canuckster
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Postby Canuckster » Tue Jun 25, 2019 12:45 pm

Ladies in mid life crisis are the most fun.
People say they all want the truth, but when they are confronted with a truth that disagrees with them, they balk at it as if it were an unwanted zombie apocalypse come to destroy civilization.

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Postby Joe Mama » Tue Jun 25, 2019 3:37 pm

Shinkicker wrote:Well, I may be copping out but....I'm leaving my family for 3 months.

I'm stuck in a rut here. My boys don't listen to me. They don't seem to respect me. They don't help around the house. My 16 year old won't get a job. They 'yes sir' their dad and jump to do as he says. Yet he tells me to direct them ex. "have the boys mow the lawn tomorrow", etc

Don't get me wrong. They have their good points. They make excellent grades in school, get awards constantly, and don't smoke or do drugs. They have great manners and social skills around others. (They even try to get doors for women or older people in public.)
Everyone says "you have such great kids!"

Well yeah, but they need to be getting prepared to get the fuck outta my house.

I grew up without most material things so I want my kids to have everything. I've gotten myself to where I live paycheck to paycheck and keep dishing out the money. And my kids are expensive. Dating, rock climbing, work out equipment, travel, etc.

And their dad has hobbies that take up much of his free time. He Makes time for me but I always have to plan for it and set it up. Well, I've stopped doing that and I don't think he's even noticed.

And I can't seem to break the cycle. So I'm taking a travel assignment on the west coast for 13 weeks.

I'm either going to come home to a family that appreciates me or has decided they don't really need me.

We shall see. I'm ready for either.


I feel ya in many aspects man... I have my own (similar-ish) situation.

Currently my GF and I are cohabitating together - we are coming up on the 1 year living together mark.
So is her daughter... She is now 19 years old and boy what a struggle to get her to:
Get a license and start driving.
Get a fucking job.
Wake up sometime before 2 in the afternoon.
Do dishes (or ANY household chores)

Granted, she has shown signs of 'improvement' here and there she collectively seems to be perfectly content with having everyone else take care of shit FOR her. She has no plans to move out, get a better job, get an education etc. In fact her exact words were "I just want to take a year off after graduation before I do anything" My response was - who the fuck is going to carry you?

Fortunately her mom lit a small fire under her ass and made her get a (shitty) job but even now I question whether SHE has a plan to boot her freeloading ass.

I too may be in the same boat as you. The chinks in the relationship armor are starting to show elsewhere, but can be dealt with.
This whole succubus with an enabling helicopter parent situation might end up being a deal breaker.

Midlife crisis anyone? :lol:

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Postby Shinkicker » Tue Jun 25, 2019 4:19 pm

Canuckster wrote:Ladies in mid life crisis are the most fun.


Call me.

:D

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Postby Canuckster » Tue Jun 25, 2019 11:48 pm

Shinkicker wrote:
Canuckster wrote:Ladies in mid life crisis are the most fun.


Call me.

:D
People say they all want the truth, but when they are confronted with a truth that disagrees with them, they balk at it as if it were an unwanted zombie apocalypse come to destroy civilization.

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Postby Som-Pong » Wed Jun 26, 2019 8:48 am

Jesus christ, first silent singer and throbbie now this. Old people shouldn't have sex.

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Masato
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Postby Masato » Thu Jun 27, 2019 3:59 pm

Shinkicker wrote:Well, I may be copping out but....I'm leaving my family for 3 months.

I'm stuck in a rut here. My boys don't listen to me. They don't seem to respect me. They don't help around the house. My 16 year old won't get a job. They 'yes sir' their dad and jump to do as he says. Yet he tells me to direct them ex. "have the boys mow the lawn tomorrow", etc

Don't get me wrong. They have their good points. They make excellent grades in school, get awards constantly, and don't smoke or do drugs. They have great manners and social skills around others. (They even try to get doors for women or older people in public.)
Everyone says "you have such great kids!"

Well yeah, but they need to be getting prepared to get the fuck outta my house.

I grew up without most material things so I want my kids to have everything. I've gotten myself to where I live paycheck to paycheck and keep dishing out the money. And my kids are expensive. Dating, rock climbing, work out equipment, travel, etc.

And their dad has hobbies that take up much of his free time. He Makes time for me but I always have to plan for it and set it up. Well, I've stopped doing that and I don't think he's even noticed.

And I can't seem to break the cycle. So I'm taking a travel assignment on the west coast for 13 weeks.

I'm either going to come home to a family that appreciates me or has decided they don't really need me.

We shall see. I'm ready for either.


Hey Shinkicker, thanks for sharing.

Going to the west coast for 3 months sounds delightful! maybe I'll join you and Canuckster and anyone else in their 40's lol we can have a mid-life crisis gathering :D

sorry for the delayed in posting, been a busy week and I like to take my time with more meaningful threads here and not just blurt shit out when I have 5 mins lol.

Honestly it sounds like you have done really well:

Shinkicker wrote:"They make excellent grades in school, get awards constantly, and don't smoke or do drugs. They have great manners and social skills around others. (They even try to get doors for women or older people in public.)
Everyone says "you have such great kids!"


I think its just not too healthy to have the same pattern for too long, we start to turn into trees lol. We get dumber, and grow tired of the same old same old. A healthy mind body and heart need some fresh perspectives, new challenges, changes of pace, new environments. This is normal, its just how we deal with it that is the question.

Some just fuck right off and leave their spouse and kids etc but I think if a family is functioning it is important to value and nurture that. Some just keep going and going until they crack or die unfulfilled. Some turn to drink or drugs, or hook up with someone younger lol. None of these I think are the best solutions for the most part

I think midlife crisis is real I am for sure feeling some of the same stuff. Doing my best to try to imagine what the best version of myself from here on in life would look like, or what I would like it to look like. Remember your husband is going through the same shit don't underestimate that. When us men get fatter and weaker and our routines get old we can also lose our footing and not sure how to handle it. I don't know your husband but I doubt he's indifferent as you think, he's likely handling the same shit his own way

Your family will always need and appreciate you, they are just all wrapped up in their own lives, we don't always have the space to really consider. I have heard several testimonies lately from people who praise their parents later in life but admit they did not see it or realize how good they had it until later. I am guilty of this too, I lost interest in my parents at like 15 but looking back they were always great and I should have been more receptive. All issues with my daughter right now I think revolve around the same root, humans by nature I think at certain ages are self-consumed, we don't see others as we should

Go get some fresh air, get yourself strong again. Going west is somehow magical I think. Go see the ocean if you can


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