Shinkicker wrote:Well, I may be copping out but....I'm leaving my family for 3 months.
I'm stuck in a rut here. My boys don't listen to me. They don't seem to respect me. They don't help around the house. My 16 year old won't get a job. They 'yes sir' their dad and jump to do as he says. Yet he tells me to direct them ex. "have the boys mow the lawn tomorrow", etc
Don't get me wrong. They have their good points. They make excellent grades in school, get awards constantly, and don't smoke or do drugs. They have great manners and social skills around others. (They even try to get doors for women or older people in public.)
Everyone says "you have such great kids!"
Well yeah, but they need to be getting prepared to get the fuck outta my house.
I grew up without most material things so I want my kids to have everything. I've gotten myself to where I live paycheck to paycheck and keep dishing out the money. And my kids are expensive. Dating, rock climbing, work out equipment, travel, etc.
And their dad has hobbies that take up much of his free time. He Makes time for me but I always have to plan for it and set it up. Well, I've stopped doing that and I don't think he's even noticed.
And I can't seem to break the cycle. So I'm taking a travel assignment on the west coast for 13 weeks.
I'm either going to come home to a family that appreciates me or has decided they don't really need me.
We shall see. I'm ready for either.
Hey Shinkicker, thanks for sharing.
Going to the west coast for 3 months sounds delightful! maybe I'll join you and Canuckster and anyone else in their 40's lol we can have a mid-life crisis gathering
sorry for the delayed in posting, been a busy week and I like to take my time with more meaningful threads here and not just blurt shit out when I have 5 mins lol.
Honestly it sounds like you have done really well:
Shinkicker wrote:"They make excellent grades in school, get awards constantly, and don't smoke or do drugs. They have great manners and social skills around others. (They even try to get doors for women or older people in public.)
Everyone says "you have such great kids!"
I think its just not too healthy to have the same pattern for too long, we start to turn into trees lol. We get dumber, and grow tired of the same old same old. A healthy mind body and heart need some fresh perspectives, new challenges, changes of pace, new environments. This is normal, its just how we deal with it that is the question.
Some just fuck right off and leave their spouse and kids etc but I think if a family is functioning it is important to value and nurture that. Some just keep going and going until they crack or die unfulfilled. Some turn to drink or drugs, or hook up with someone younger lol. None of these I think are the best solutions for the most part
I think midlife crisis is real I am for sure feeling some of the same stuff. Doing my best to try to imagine what the best version of myself from here on in life would look like, or what I would like it to look like. Remember your husband is going through the same shit don't underestimate that. When us men get fatter and weaker and our routines get old we can also lose our footing and not sure how to handle it. I don't know your husband but I doubt he's indifferent as you think, he's likely handling the same shit his own way
Your family will always need and appreciate you, they are just all wrapped up in their own lives, we don't always have the space to really consider. I have heard several testimonies lately from people who praise their parents later in life but admit they did not see it or realize how good they had it until later. I am guilty of this too, I lost interest in my parents at like 15 but looking back they were always great and I should have been more receptive. All issues with my daughter right now I think revolve around the same root, humans by nature I think at certain ages are self-consumed, we don't see others as we should
Go get some fresh air, get yourself strong again. Going west is somehow magical I think. Go see the ocean if you can