After 1 year in Thailand I'm heading back to the UK

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After 1 year in Thailand I'm heading back to the UK

Postby Benwahwah » Mon Sep 25, 2017 7:13 am

On Monday 19th September 2016 I headed out to Thailand to seek my fortune. One year to the day, on Tuesday 19th September 2017 my dad died. So, I am packing my bags and heading back to the UK, but only for the month of October!

My dad had a fall and ended up with a bleed on the brain. He was put into an induced coma, but unfortunately even though they operated on him it was to no avail.

In a strange way I am pleased for him. He has had a brain tumour for the last 12 years, and his biggest fear was that he would become incapacitated and end up in some kind of care. Plus, the timing of him dying was actually quite good. My brother has only needed to delay the funeral by a few days so that I can finish my paperwork here and go home. It will be interesting to see how much I have changed, and how much it feels like the UK has changed.

Towards the end of October I will be back in Thailand of course, I enjoying myself far too much to stay away for long.

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Postby Megaterio Llamas » Mon Sep 25, 2017 8:27 am

I am sorry to learn of your dad's passing Ben.

My condolences to you and your family.

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Postby Som-Pong » Mon Sep 25, 2017 9:01 am

Condolences mate. If you need a job in BKK I'll put you in touch with my boss.

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Postby Canuckster » Mon Sep 25, 2017 11:44 am

Sorry for your loss, best of luck.
People say they all want the truth, but when they are confronted with a truth that disagrees with them, they balk at it as if it were an unwanted zombie apocalypse come to destroy civilization.

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Postby Edge Guerrero » Mon Sep 25, 2017 2:00 pm

- My condolences Ben!
- I rent this space for advertising

Don't be selfish, preserve this world for the next generations.

I'll never long for what might have been
Regret won't waste my life again
I won't look back I'll fight to remain

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Postby Masato » Mon Sep 25, 2017 4:08 pm

Hey Ben, compassion all around man

I admire your perspectives though. While it always hurts to miss our loved ones, I also try to take a more Taoist view of death as being natural and OK, all part of this great adventure/mystery we're in. My son was recently scared about the inevitable fact that his grandmother will one day pass, and I tried get him to see it this way. He was concerned a lot about her pain and I suggested that maybe dying will be great because she will be free of the pain and this kind of clicked for him. We imagined that maybe after death we can fly around for while or even incarnate as a bird or something and how cool that would feel after being stuck in a painful body for a long time.

I JUST read this last night before sleep, it came to mind;

There are these 3 Taoist sages, and 1 of them dies. Big deal for lots of people. Someone is sent to attend the funeral etc and he finds the other 2 singing a song. Dude returns to Confucius and asks; 'what kind of people are these? Singing when their master has just died?' (paraphrasing). You can guess the rest...

Anyways, the song went like this: (about Sang Hu, their friend who had just died)

"Oh, Sang Hu came; oh, Sang Hu came!
Now he's gone back to being what he truly is,
While we must go on being human!"

(from the Chuang Tzu)

I find a lot of Taoist stuff great when considering death. Other memorable passages I recall where a sage or Master DOES weep and grieve... the students criticize them, asking; if you are with the Tao, why do you weep and grieve? Shouldn't you be beyond that, accepting all that comes, etc? Then later when they see the Masters are happy again, they are confused, asking; how could I see you grieving not too long ago, and now happy so fast?' etc

The masters would answer that if weeping and grieving arise, this is also part of the Tao, and one should let it come and play its course, allowing it to end whenever it ends etc.

Good luck Ben, hope the transition back to Thailand bears some fresh fruit for ya

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Postby Daglord » Mon Sep 25, 2017 4:10 pm

sorry to hear Ben, thoughts are with you & your family.

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Postby Diet Butcher » Mon Sep 25, 2017 5:08 pm

Sorry for your loss big Ben.

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Postby Benwahwah » Tue Sep 26, 2017 4:27 am

Like I said, it has been a long time coming. Plus I personally don't see the point in getting hung up about these things. At some point everybody will die. I was only speaking to my dad for a couple of minutes each month. So there wont be a massive change in that respect. I am more sad about the hurt that other family members are going through. I hate to see people in distress, so that is what will make the funeral hard, feeling bad for the pain they are feeling.

Maybe it will be different with my mum as I speak with her every day. But only time will tell.

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Postby Vutulaki » Tue Sep 26, 2017 8:15 am

My mum died on the 17th, RIP to both of them. TIll we meet again huh?

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