Hey all
So for the first time I am seriously considering breaking my 25 year cannabis relationship. I am 10 days in and still on track.
I am considerably more on edge/stressed but at the same time I also feel more energized and motivated to be more productive. Basically I just feel that if I want to evolve and achieve various goals and dreams in life I need to climb out of the habit. Both my kids have recently expressed extreme disappointment catching me blazing, and that kind of hurt. In-laws are gonna be living with us for a while and I also don't want them seeing me hitting spliffs every few hours. Also I am trying to hit some new levels professionally, as well as preparing to launch/pitch my big personal creative dream (my screenplay trilogy), and I have had a gnawing feeling that if I can quit I'll have better luck/fortune in this dept and things will start to open up better for me. I also think it will improve my BJJ (Brown belt at my club I admire says he quit too several years ago and he's much better in life for it. Last night I was stressing pretty bad and was a beast on the mats like I've never been before, lol)
All in all for the first time I have more reasons to quit than not to. I've heard that when making a change like this, psychologically it works better to move TOWARDS something, rather than AWAY from something (if that makes sense), and for the first time I can see a fuzzy image of who I might become without the herbs, and I feel excited/drawn to move towards it.
This is huge because I REALLY love the weed, its been a big part of me for many many years. It was the one caveat when I got married, I told her up front she can never ask me to quit or nag me about it. She has honored this but I know she had always secretly thought I'd be better without. ALL my habits and patterns will have to change; how I start my day, how I deal with stress, how I fuel myself through work shifts, how I get creative, lifedrawing, spending free time, etc etc etc. I think it will be tough, I've already had to push through some serious jonesing moments but made it through and feel pretty good.
Its scary but its the first time I actually feel like its possible, like I've made it over a crucial psychological line. Like I'm entering a whole new phase i life.
Will I make it? Will I stumble along the way? Time will tell. I have thought about managing my habit before but I've never quite felt this way about it before, its scary but kind of inspiring too.
Tough stuff, yo
10 Days off Herbs
The only obstacle I don't yet know how I will handle is when I have to work all-nighter shifts at work. These come pretty frequently, and hitting the herbs every couple hours is my method so far for staying awake and keeping on task. Not really sure how I can do this without but I guess I'll face that when it comes, try to figure something out
Also MarioKart is just not as much fun, lol
Masato wrote:Also MarioKart is just not as much fun, lol
I'm in similar situation (except not ready to quit weed) and playing my gameboy so much instead of working on my projects lol
^ game boy?? what for real?
the old black and white screen? or is there a new one these days?
the old black and white screen? or is there a new one these days?
- Canuckster
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There are many iterations of gameboys
People say they all want the truth, but when they are confronted with a truth that disagrees with them, they balk at it as if it were an unwanted zombie apocalypse come to destroy civilization.
Masato wrote:^ game boy?? what for real?
the old black and white screen? or is there a new one these days?
no the old 3DS XL, and I'm playing Fire Emblem : Awakening
I have one of these for it, makes all the difference
Nice! plus it makes a great little weed-rolling station:
Masato wrote:Nice! plus it makes a great little weed-rolling station:
haha noooooo .... removing the device from it is tricky enough that I don't bother anymore
You should, maybe you'll find some little bits of herb under there
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